Caroline Goldsmith | ATC Ireland Psychologist: Raising Confident Communicators
Caroline Goldsmith | ATC Ireland Psychologist: Raising Confident Communicators
Blog Article
Every child experiences a wide range of emotions—from joy and excitement to frustration, sadness, and fear. But unlike adults, children often struggle to make sense of these emotions. Without guidance, these "big feelings" can become overwhelming, leading to meltdowns, withdrawal, or anxiety. Caroline Goldsmith, a leading psychologist at ATC Ireland, offers compassionate, research-based strategies to help children understand and manage their emotions in healthy ways.
Why Emotional Understanding Matters
Helping children make sense of their emotions isn't just about avoiding tantrums—it's about building the foundation for long-term emotional health. When children can identify and express their feelings, they develop:
Greater self-awareness and self-esteem
Stronger social relationships
Improved problem-solving skills
Enhanced emotional regulation and resilience
A deeper sense of security and connection with caregivers
Recognizing the Signs of Emotional Overload
Children show emotional distress in different ways, including:
Physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches
Avoidance of certain situations or people
Irritability, aggression, or sudden outbursts
Withdrawing or becoming unusually quiet
Regression (e.g., bedwetting or clinginess)
Caroline Goldsmith emphasizes the importance of noticing these signs early and responding with empathy rather than punishment or dismissal.
Tools to Help Children Understand Their Emotions
1. Use Emotion Charts
Visual aids like emotion wheels or charts help children connect physical sensations or behaviors with emotional language. Ask, “Which face shows how you feel right now?” to prompt reflection.
2. Name It to Tame It
Encourage children to put their feelings into words. Phrases like “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because you couldn’t finish your drawing” show empathy while helping them build emotional vocabulary.
3. Read Stories About Emotions
Books are powerful tools for discussing feelings indirectly. Caroline recommends using children’s literature to explore different characters' emotions and choices in a safe, non-personal way.
4. Create a “Feelings Jar”
Have children write or draw their feelings on slips of paper and put them in a jar. Review the emotions together at the end of the day to validate and talk about them.
5. Practice Calm-Down Routines
Teach children that all emotions are okay, but not all behaviors are. Create calming rituals—like deep breaths, hugs, or sensory play—to help them regulate when emotions feel too big.
Supporting Children in Real Time
When a child is having a meltdown or struggling emotionally, Caroline advises these key steps:
Stay Calm: Your calm presence provides co-regulation.
Acknowledge the Emotion: “You’re really angry right now. That’s okay.”
Avoid Judgment or Fixing: Don’t rush to correct, distract, or problem-solve too quickly.
Offer Comfort, Then Reflect: Once the child is calm, revisit the situation and talk through it in simple language.
Teaching Through Everyday Moments
Opportunities to build emotional understanding are everywhere—from waiting in traffic to losing a game. Use these moments to model your own emotional regulation (“I’m feeling a bit stressed, so I’m going to take some deep breaths”) and show that emotions are normal and manageable.
Final Thoughts
Helping children understand big feelings isn’t about avoiding emotional discomfort—it’s about equipping them with the tools to process, express, and learn from their emotions. Caroline Goldsmith’s approach emphasizes compassion, patience, and proactive teaching. When children feel seen, heard, and supported, they gain not only emotional intelligence—but the confidence to face life’s challenges with strength and self-awareness.
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